Therapy...

Since nobody knows me on here..i feel pretty safe putting my thoughts on here..while at my Doctor this past Wednesday...one of her suggestions was to start a journal..and put all my thoughts..memories..and feelings in a journal..and she thinks it may help...well since i feel more comfortable blogging then writing in a book, I've decides to write here everyday...so hmm where do i start???well i think ill talk about the last couple of months..before i go into what led up to today...for the last few months..I've been feeling really sad..i just wanted to get into bed and never get up again...to hide from the world..i would cry everynite on the long drive home from work or at the drop of a hat....at the advice of a close friend, who recognised the signs of depression..he insisted i go to the Doctor and i did....he was right..the depression was so bad..i started having seizures, where pain would shoot up my arms and leave me helpless for several minutes..she put me on several meds to stop it..and i seemed to be coasting along for a while, getting better..til 2 weeks ago today...i got very sick at work...and ended up in the hospital..i was in extreme pain in my stomach area and they found out i was severely dehydrated...well they admitted me and found my gall bladder very infected and full of stones..omg the pain was horrendous..they put me on IVs of fluids and antibiotics and were shoving morphine in me..(that was the good part) lol..but they released me after a couple of days with antibiotics and pain pills..and told me to come back in a week for surgery..i made it 2 days and hurt so bad..the admitted me again and removed the gall bladder as it was ready to rupture..i almost died..what a sobering thought...when they released me from the hospital last Friday..they sent me home with more pain pills and that was my downfall...i was taking the new meds along with the pain pills from last week and all the meds i was taking for the seizures and depression....well after a couple of days of this..i was fried...it got to the point that i dumped all of my pills in my hand, and was going to take them...remember now...i don't drink and have never been a person to take anything stronger then aspirin..and here i am with all these pills..well thank god, better sense took over and i stopped myself from talking the pills...i immediately called my Doctor who squeezed me in and im starting therapy next week....tomorrow, ill go into the abuse and other factors in my life that i feel caused what im going thru now..if someone should read this...thank you....Linda