Therapy...part 3...

i just sat down after a busy day..i got out of the hospital last week and today i felt so good..i moved my whole living room around including my computer desk...its amazing how i bounced back especially being off all my pills for four days now...unfortunatly..ive had a seizure everyday for the last three days but i refuse to take the neuronton..ill just deal with them...so here is more on what ive gone thru...i divorced in august of 1993 and in december of 1993..i met danny..he was a lead singer in a classic rock band..and i fell head over heels for him..as i look back now..i think it was a rebound thing but i refused to admit that to my self....danny and i lived together for seven years..he wouldnt find a regular job..but i didnt push it...i knew he needed time for the band..so i accepted paying all the bills and driving him to his gigs and helping him set up..the last couple of years..danny changed a lot..he got really secretive and wouldnt talk very much..i believe that is when he got into his drugs heavily..so many times, id go to the ATM to take out a few bucks just before payday..and find my bank account empty..he would sneak my card to get the money for his dope...we fought over it and i always ended up forgiving him and letting him stay..i look back at it now..and i think i had such low self esteem beacause of the awful things my ex husband did to me..i guess i thought i deserved what danny was doing....and i was lucky he wanted me...oh god if i could go back and do it differently now...well it all came to a head on november 12,2000...it was a sunday and danny liked to stay up all night playing his guitar on saturdays..so i didnt think anything when he slept in the spare room..i quietly cleaned and made a great pot roast for dinner and when it was done...i went into the bedroom to wake up danny for dinner...i found his lifeless body laying on the bed...i lost it..i started screaming and my son and his kids were in the living room and he came running...checked danny and called the police..i barely remember the police coming and the coroner...they found a needle on the bedside table and the coroner said he was shooting up..and his heart stopped.....i blame myself for not making him leave when i knew he was stealing my money for dope..if i had..he might still be alive today...after the funeral i moved to a different town to start over..about six months later..i ran into henly..he was mine and dannys best friend..we were like the three muckateers...we went out for a drink..and before it was over..another deadly affair had started...to be continued tomorrow....